>3MAJ<>tkora<
 
63.Nikad ne umire,povremeno svratimo do pakla da se odmorimo i onda se vracamo u borbu!
Posts: 1,173
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Post by >3MAJ<>tkora< on Oct 18, 2012 18:54:12 GMT 1
ahahaha i almost die when i saw this char on hhc xXxGaylordxXx ahahahah i couldnt believe what i seel.Imagine this : Gay pvp? Go ! lol ahahahah im dead lol or in this case olo hahah
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Post by >3MAJ<>Cveki< on Nov 14, 2012 10:57:45 GMT 1
U zoološkom vrtu medvjedica urliče, traži mužjaka da se pari. Uprava, pošto nema mužjaka, dosjeti se da ponudi Mujo da "sredi stvar" za pristojnu nadoknadu. Pozovu oni Mujo i pitaju ga: "Je li Mujo, bil’ ti kresn’o medvjedicu za 200 maraka?" "Pa ne znam, evo da razmislim, pa ću vam sutra reći." Dođe Mujo drugi dan i kaže: "Pristajem, ali imam tri uvjeta." "Da čujemo." "Prvo: ne plaćam alimentaciju ako zatrudni." Uprava: "Može." "Drugo: da se ne ljubimo u usta!" Uprava: "Ne morate, i to je sređeno." "I treće: ja imam samo 100 maraka."
Ženska i muška prijateljstva
Žena se nije vratila kući celu noć. Saopštava suprugu da je spavala kod prijateljice.
Suprug uzima imenik i zove deset supruginih najboljih prijateljica.
Njih osam kažu da je nisu videle mesecima, a dve ne mogu da se sete ko je ona uopšte.
Muškarac se nije vratio kući celu noć. Saopštava supruzi da je spavao kod drugara.
Supruga uzima imenik i zove deset njegovih najboljih drugova.
Njih osam tvrde da je spavao baš kod njih, a dvojica se zaklinju da je još uvek tu!
Mujo na samrti kaže doktoru: - Napišite da sam umro od SIDE!
- Zašto?
- Tako mi niko neće jebati ženu, a oni koji su je već jebali neka umru od straha!
Došao djeda kod doktora.
Doktor: Gospodine, vi imate 92 godine. Vaša djevojka 21. Vama je poznato da svaki seksualni kontakt vuče rizik smrti za sobom?
Djeda: Ma ko je jebe, neka crkne!..:
Odveo Hercegovac familiju na more i odluči da nauči malog sina da pliva. Baci ga u more, a mali potone. Hercegovac ga izvuče i stavi mu naramenice za plivanje. Baci ga u vodu, mali ponovo potone. Stavi mu i šlauf, mali ponovo potone. Sav iznerviran, stavi mu i peraje, ali mali ponovo potone. U to će stara nana koja sve to gleda:
• Skini mu lančić...
Objašnjava otac petogodišnjem sinčiću:
- Ako hoćeš da budeš jak kao tata, moraš da pojedeš sav spanać iz tanjira.
A mali odgovara:
- Neću da budem jak kao tata. Hoću da komandujem kao mama!
Три свештеника СПЦ били у кафани, причали о свим темама, мало и попили.
Кад је дошло време да се разилазе, нађоше да ниједан од њих није понео новчаник.
Зову они конобара и замоле га да не прави гужву и шири причу, јер ће сутра платити.
Конобар пристане (рачун је био 2.500 динара).
И при одласку га питају свештеници:"Колико треба да платимо?"
А конобар одговара:" Све је то Божија воља. Нема ту фиксне цене. Обично се даје по пет хиљада, а нико не даје испод три".
Rađena anketa u Beogradu na pitanje: "Zašto Vam smetaju Crnogorci u Beogradu?"
... 79,9 % ispitanika je odgovorilo sa: "Kome bre ja smetam?"
Ona: Dragi, trudna sam! Šta bi voleo da bude?
On: Šala.
- Mujo, kako je bilo kod doktora?
- Super!
- Super, znači sve je u redu?
- Da, malo su mi se samo unutarnji organi pomaknuli.
- Kako misliš pomaknuli?
- Doktor kaže da mi je jetra otišla u kurac.
ENGLISH
(last one not translated - no sense)
The zoo bear roaring, seeking males to mate. Management, as no males, recollect that offer to Mujo and "set things straight" for a decent fee. Mujo they invite him and ask, "Hey Mujo, would you peeep! a bear for 200 $?" "I do not know, let me think here, so I'll tell you tomorrow." Mujo came the other day and said: "I agree, but I have three conditions." "Let's hear it." "First: I do not pay child support if she become pregnant." Management: "Sure." "Secondly, kisses with mouths!" Management: "You do not have, and it's done." "And third, I got only 100 $"
Female and male friendship
The woman did not come home all night. Tells her husband that she had slept at her friend.
Husband takes the book and called his wife's ten best friends.
Eight of them say they have not seen for months, and the two can not remember who she is at all.
The man did not come home all night. Tells his wife that he had slept at friend.
The wife takes the book and called ten of his best friends.
Eight of them claimed to have slept there, and the two swear it's still there!
Mujo in last dying moments says to doctor: - Write I died from AIDS!
- Why?
- So nobody will f@ck my wife, and those who already did, to have a fear of dying!
Grandfather came to the doctor.
Doctor: Sir, you have 92 years. Your girlfriend 21! You are aware that any sexual contact traction is risk of death?
Grandpa: Oh, who f@cks, let her drop dead!
Herzegovinian family went to the sea and decides to teach young son to swim. Thrown into the sea, and a small sink. Hercegovac toke him out and put his shoulder pads for swimming. Throw it in the water, a small sink again. Put him in the float, a small sink again. All pissed off, and put the fins, but the small sink again. In this way, old grandmother who sees it all said:
• Take off his necklace ...
Father of five years old Son explains:
- If you want to be strong like Daddy, you have to eat a whole plate of spinach.
Then kid answers:
- I do not want to be strong like you dad. I want to command as mom!
There were three priests in a bar, talking about all the issues, and drank a little.
When it came time to disperse, they found that none of them had brought a wallet.
They called the waiter and asked him to not clutter the story spreads, it will pay tomorrow.
The waiter agreed (the bill was 2,500 dinars).
In the end they asked him: "How much should We pay?"
A waiter replies, "It's all God's will. There is no fixed price. Usually produce five thousand, and no one gives less than three."
Surveys conducted in Belgrade to the question: "Why do you bothered with Montenegrians in Belgrade?"
... 79.9% of respondents answered: "Who the hell I bother?"
She: Honey, I'm pregnant! What would you like to be?
He: A joke.
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Post by >3MAJ<>Cveki< on Dec 3, 2012 15:19:57 GMT 1
KOMPARACIJA PRIDEVA "HRABAR"  HRABAR Kada dodješ usred noći pijan kući, žena je već u krevetu, ali još ne spava. Uzmeš stolicu i sedneš ispred njenog kreveta i na njeno pitanje: - "Šta radiš?", odgovoriš - "Želim da sedim u prvom redu kada počne cirkus." HRABRIJI Kada dodješ kući usred noći dobro pijan, žena te čeka sa metlom u ruci, a ti je upitaš: - "Čistiš li, ili se spremaš da nekud odletiš?" NAJHRABRIJI Kada dodješ kući usred noći, mirišeš na parfem i imaš šminku na košulji. Opališ ženu po dupetu i kažeš: - "Ti si sledeća!" HRABAR U P... MATERINU Kada dodješ kući usred noći sa ljubavnicom i kažeš ženi: - "Pravi se da si mi sestra."
Comparison of adjective "BRAVE"BRAVEWhen you come home drunk in the middle of the night, the wife is already in bed, but still not sleeping. You take a chair and sit down in front of her bed and she asks a question: - "What are you doing?" You say: - "I want to sit in the front row when the circus starts." BRAVERWhen you come home at night well drunk and wife is waiting with a broom in her hand, and you ask: - "Are you cleaning, or you're getting ready to fly away somewhere?" BRAVESTWhen you come home at night, smelling on perfume and having a makeup marks on shirt. You than spank wife's a$$ and say: - "You're next!" ULTRA-MEGA-EXTRA BRAVEWhen you come home at night with your lover and say to your wife: - "Pretend you're my sister." Login out... END
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Post by >3MAJ<>Cveki< on Feb 8, 2013 9:18:33 GMT 1
Pozvo Mujo Hasu na grupni sex. Pita njega Haso: pa dobro Mujo kolko ce nas biti? - odgovara mu Mujo: ako povedes Fatu, onda troje!
---Pitali Lalu šta ima protiv Bosanaca? Ništa efikasno!
---Ko su prvi vesnici proleća u Vojvodini? Bosanci na mešalicama
---Šta radi Sosa sa modricom ispod oka? Sve što joj se kaže
---Pitali Lalu kada je prestao da se druži sa komšijama. Otkad su se doselili - odgovara Lala.
---Svađaju se Lala i Sosa. Ti bi, kanda, volô da sam se ja udala za nekog drugog, a? Ta ja nikome ne želim zlo.
---Primeti Lala da Sosa posle svakog seksa izvadi blok iz fioke i nešto zapiše. I tako uvek. Jednog dana otvori fioku i vidi da ga Sosa ocenjuje kakav je u seksu. Razljuti to Lalu pa se spremi psihički i fizički da odradi radnju. Sosa zapiše u svoj blok. Dođe Lala sutra, vidi da je dobio peticu i sav je srećan. Uveče Sosa kaže: Ajde, Lalo, malo da se seksamo. Ta neću, nešto sam umoran. Drugi dan je bolestan... i tako svako veče. Kad ga je Sosa napala, on prizna: E, baš neću da pokvarim ocenu
---Svi kažu: Vrh, brate. A šta kaže Lala? Špic, derane
Ulazi pilot u putničku kabinu aviona i obraća se putnicima: ''Postovani putnici, jedan motor nam je otkazao, a drugi radi sa 30%. Već smo poizbacivali sav teret, ali to nije dovoljno. Da bi srecno sleteli na najblizi aerodrom moramo zrtvovati deo putnika. Nećemo nikoga diskriminisati na osnovi boje koze, nacionalne pripadnosti ili sexualne orijentacije. Zato moramo biti pravedni i ići po abecedi. Prema izlaznim vratima neka se odmah upute: Albanci, Arapi, bisexualci, cigani, crnci, zatim slede homosexualci...''
Rasprava u romskoj kuci izmedju sina i oca: - otac: a bre kakvi ste vi danasnji mladi sve mora da vam se nacrta, da vam se da, da vam se pokaze - sin: sta ti je bre čale nismo bas tako losi, na nama svet ostaje - otac : ma gde niste bre, stvarno ste jadni bre - sin: sta, pa ni vi roditelji niste cveče, aj reci mi ko je izmislio struju - otac: kako ko, pa Nikola Tesla! - sin: pa naravno Nikola Tesla, a ne njegov čale!  Login out... END |
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>3MAJ<>tkora<
63.Nikad ne umire,povremeno svratimo do pakla da se odmorimo i onda se vracamo u borbu!
Posts: 1,173
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Post by >3MAJ<>tkora< on Apr 9, 2013 10:07:11 GMT 1
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Post by >3MAJ<>Cveki< on Apr 19, 2013 9:18:51 GMT 1
Takin a $hit? Login out... END |
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Post by >3MAJ<>Cveki< on Sept 9, 2014 12:38:27 GMT 1
Sorry peeps this only makes sense on our language!
Kako ciganka zove pirsing na klitorisu?
Odgovor: MINDŽUŠA
Login out...
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Post by >3MAJ<>Cveki< on Apr 8, 2016 1:58:24 GMT 1
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Post by >3MAJ<>Ghost< on Apr 8, 2016 20:43:27 GMT 1
So i guess i'm the only one left that goes on here and doesn't speak whatever that is ^^? Also cveki msg me with some contact info sometime  been too long. |
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Post by >3MAJ<>Cveki< on Apr 10, 2016 0:03:52 GMT 1
Ola Dude! WB! You not only. Few of us check back sometimes, but not to much to say! Summer is coming. Started to ride a bike so to job and back home is everyday training. By weekend is relaxing and thanks God, no more heating needed.  BTW - again, I'm quiting smoke and it wasn't April's fool when I decided to do it.  So now I enjoy all the tastes and even I ate almost same as before, the fat is sticking on to me. Sex therapy and lots of workout, a lot of fruit and smart drugs is secured success. WIN-WIN COMBO !  And waiting for next weekend party in da hood. P.S. Any other contact except here is no luck. Im not active online at all these days, so stay here! And if any is interested for play on DM server, just yell! For me is fire up the server and we are good to go! Login out... END |
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been too long.
